Excuses. I have realized today that my life is full of these little words inside my head. "I'll do it later," "it's his turn," etc... Can anyone relate?
Let me share a story...
My dog is a pansy. If the ground is wet, say dew for instance, then Wedge won't go to the bathroom. If he holds it long enough he can last an entire day. Sometimes in dire need he will stand at the edge of the sidewalk and aim, as best he can, into the grass, therefore avoiding getting his feet wet. Yesterday was one such day. Both Drew and I took turns taking him out to "do his business", oh about 5 times total. He never went. At about 10 pm we gave up, Wedge went to bed with us and such was the end of that day. This morning however, the second he felt me turning over (yes he does sleep with us), he was fully awake. He draped himself over me and proceeded to whine, laying flat on my stomach until I gave in and took him out. (For those of you with a fenced in yard, be grateful!) I was angry. I could have slept another full twenty minutes. And so, after taking him out, and him only doing "business #1" I decided to go back to bed for another twenty minutes. My first excuse of the day was "I would have had this sleep, it doesn't matter if I'm late." I woke up, knowing full well I'd be at work late, and frustration set in. I was frustrated at myself that I had gone back to bed, but after taking Wedge out again to try to get him to do "business #2", (that didn't happen by the way) I'd had it and I left the house slamming the door on the way out. Fast forward to coming home this afternoon.
I decided to make amends with Wedge. I had yelled at him this morning, maybe rightly so, but I felt like snuggling. A 3 day weekend on its way and I knew he and I could do some bonding before Drew came home. In fact, maybe I would take him on a walk, exercise ourselves a bit. Maybe he would use the restroom! I opened the door and apparently he had decided to get back at me. He had shredded my bra. My nice bra. Women if you are reading this and you are like me then you know the feeling. Bra's are expensive, and most of us only own one or two nicer/newer ones. The rest stick around for a while... This particular one had a short life span. I was angry again. All i wanted to do now was eat something (my weakness is food) and to lay down in bed, even though I knew I needed to exercise. And then I began to realize all the tiny excuses that get us out of doing the very things we need to do. Here are the excuses for NOT exercising that I came up with.
1. My legs were not shaved - the horror of going out on my sidewalk with shorts on was too much.
2. My tennis shoes were in the car - how much more effort it would take to grab my shoes right before a run.
3. I didn't want to take another shower - oh how awful to be clean
4. I had heartburn- seriously this was the first excuse I thought of. This would clearly keep me from being able to exercise.
5. I should probably take a nap - even though I'm not tired, I very well could be tired in several minutes...
You will be glad to know that I realized that all my excuses were in vain, and somewhat ridiculous. I shaved my legs, got my shoes out of the car, dealt with my heartburn and gave up on the nap. Wedge and I had a nice walk/run and you'll also be glad to know all is forgiven between us.
But, as I was walking I did some thinking. The very thing that keeps me from doing ANYTHING that I need to do is excuses. And I realized that some very big excuses go through my head on a regular basis.
1. I'm not smart enough for that degree
2. No one will notice if I don't show up to that get-together
3. I'll exercise tomorrow
4. It's Drew's turn to do the dishes
5. I'll just stay late at work if I"m late in the morning
6. I don't feel in the mood to read my Bible
7. I deserve to eat that today- its been a rough day/it's a holiday etc etc...
Anyone know where I'm coming from? Last night Drew said some words of wisdom to me "you're in charge of the choices you make. If you want to do something do it. It's up to you." (I married a smarty didn't I?)
He's right though. If I want to be to work on time I will. If I want to lose weight bad enough I will (my mind is arguing with that one). If I want a masters degree I am smart enough to get it. It's up to me. I'm tired of making excuses for myself. It actually doesn't make you feel any better in the long run. It makes you feel worse, because you know you're cheating yourself out of the best you can have and the best you can be. And the only person responsible is you. Stop blaming the dog! (Or anyone else for that matter...) It's up to you.
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